So apparently it's the "thing" to have birthday parties and invite everyone in the preschool!
We usually do not go to these birthday parties because let's face it, I don't know these kids, I don't know their parents, I have no idea what to buy them for a present, nor do I want to spend a ton of money on it!
I have yet to invite a single kid from their school for my kids birthday parties. Just with our friends and their children makes up a party of at least 12 kids. Then try to add on another 10 to 12 kids from preschool? No thanks!
Well I decided I better go to one of these preschool birthday parties, meet some of these kids, meet some of their parents, find out who and what these people are about and why my children come home with certain things their friends tell them at school that their parents say.
I must be the most unapproachable person in the history of the world! It's either that or I really am a bitch! So as Christopher is attached to my hip even though these are kids he goes to school with every day, it's a new environment for him, so he's a little shy.
I try engaging him with kids that I do know, his little kissing friend Amaya, and after a while she gravitates towards him and he towards her. The only parents aside from the birthday girls mom who said a word to me was the father of his kissy friend, said apparently he needed to meet me.
I tried the "drift in and join a conversation" with all these 20 something mom's with preschoolers and little babies in their arms as well. And when I sort of laughed and said "Oh yeah I remember when that happened" and they looked at me as if I suddenly came down with a horrible case of the plague.
So my best friend at this preschool party? Christopher! We ate grapes together, we played on the things they had set up together, we had lemonaide together and we ate our pizza and cake together. And after all was said and done....
I really don't care how I came off looking to them....because to me, I came off as a very involved parent who would rather spend her time with her child on a Saturday afternoon than gossiping and being catty! And to me, and hopefully to Christopher, that's pretty special!
9 comments:
I always feel that way at playgroups, at parties, on the playground...I think I'm quite approachable and friendly, but I'm also busy, so I when I'm with my kids, I'm WITH my kids, and I like watching them and playing with them. I have a ton of family and friends where I'm from, so I guess in my mind, I already have that circle of friends where I don't feel like I need to make more at my kids' school or the mommy and me playgroups. I mean, those groups were created for a reason...yes, development, but mainly for moms to have an outlet and a place to connect with other moms going through the same things. I'm like the mom-nerd and am always getting my kids to actually do the activity vs chatting with my girlfriends instead. Unless it really bothers you then I would say just be yourself and don't succumb to their insecurities.
I too am not that keen to attend preschooler birthday parties and throw them.. it's a real waste of money too... I'm always with the kids when I am out with them. I value their safety more then a chat with a girlfriend.
Thank you for articulating the EXACT way I feel at these functions! And it only gets worse the older they get, LOL. These "mommy-clicks" start to form. When I'm at these gatherings there are these moms who socialize on a regular basis, or at least stay in touch. I don't have enough time in my day for my extended family, let alone these moms, so I feel out of touch. I know if I jumped into their social circle I'd be accepted, but truth is...I don't want to. I've found a couple of the parents to be very nice, but they're just as busy with their lives as we are. I usually stick close to them throughout the party, or my husband volunteers to go (he does much better in these environments!) Bottom line is you're not alone!
xoxo
Holleigh
I have never been friends with my kids' friend's parents. In fact, I rather can't stand them all. I'm not sure if it's really them or me, but I just don't like them. My oldest daughter has 2 best friends and I really like their parents... my middle daughter has one best friend and I like her parents... but my youngest daughter's friends... can't STAND any of the parents. I've been pretty good about skirting the play date issue because I don't want to talk to the parents. It might be me... but I don't care.
I'm normally trying to talk to everyone and ......usually I find at least a friend or two to talk to but but usually I feel like they don't appreciate the conversation or new-found friendship.
That's pretty crummy. I hate that feeling of being uncomfortable around high school cliques. I don't know what I would have done other than exactly what you did. Plus eat all their food, take two party favors and bounce out early!
I hate trying to start friendships with people who already have some well established friendships. It's so awkward and uncomfortable.
I moved a lot when the kids were younger, so I was more like you. It was me and my little buddies.
I've been to parties like that … where all the moms were a different generation and seemed to know each other. I felt like I was back in high school. At least now I just let it roll off my back.
I dont have any kids but you totally described what it's like at social gatherings for me. For some reason or another it seems that I'm totally unlikable or something. Whatever, Im glad you had fun spending time with your son :)
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