I've got my Eye on you....

Okay who's hungry? Some yummy eyeball and worm soup disguised as a cake? Or is it?

How about this yummy eyeball surprise?

Another eyeball yum?

Kitty Litter cake anyone?

Okay none of the above did I make....I have made Kitty Litter cake before, just not the one pictured above and it is super yum! I did however make this little gem for my son's 1st birthday last month. Far from the grusome eyeball cakes, but adorable none the less.Next year maybe I'll attempt to make some eyeball cakes like pictured above, or should I just stick with cutsie teddy cakes?

This has been brought to you by Lolli over and Better in Bulk

My Little Miracles

Halloween Decor

Please allow me to introduce you to Hocus Pocus....this is my favorite Halloween decoration. Well one of them anyway.

Isn't she just precious? Of course I am a cat lover, and this is a porcelin cat with her witches hat on and her hocus pocus cape, and you can't really see it but in her hands is a black kittie!

And another one of my favorites is this pumpkin house....

Hand made by my mom, it has ghosts and gouls that fly out of the windows but ummm they are missing

Don't tell my mom! =)

And of course it lights up with a candle or even just one of those fake candles.

This has been brought to you by another eidition of MamaKat's weekly writing assignments, head on over to her place to find all kinds of fun Halloween stuff!

My Little Miracles

Ghosts of Halloween Past

Wordful Wednesdays - Angie over at 7 clown circus asked us to post about Ghost of Halloween past....and WOW how my little "Ghosts" have grown!

Thomas' first Halloween, my little pumpkin, and mommy in her Kittie ears of course!

The next year little Christopher, my sweet Pea arrived and was almost 2 months old, look how he looked up to his ghoulish bigh brother!

And this year, we will have a Mommy's Monkey....

And My Little Spider....I'll get better pics on Halloween....

So head on over to Angies to see everyone else's Ghosts!

My Little Miracles

Mommy Guilt...or?

I often wonder...is it being a Mom or being a hormonal female that makes us feel this "mommy guilt". Do I get all sentimental when the hormones are running amok and then I feel like I'm not doing enough as a mommy, I've been blessed with these two beautiful beings that look to me for everything. Or maybe it's just put into those hormones when we are pregnant that once this little being comes to actually BE, we become their greatest fan, their biggest ally, their fiercest protector, their only provider, well unless you are me, then it's the wonderful makers of Similac, but we become their everything! And when it's programmed into us and we feel we can't do all that we THINK we are expected to do that we feel said mommy guilt?

There are so many things I want to or would like to do with my "spare time" HA right....I am a mommy, I forget, I don't have spare time. But when I do these things, I feel guilty because I am out doing that while my babies are at home missing me....at least that is what my Mommy Brain tells me. And in one instant anything and everything I want takes a back seat to all things child! And I am so okay with that....just make the mommy guilt go away.

I took my oldest to kindercare for the 1st time for just a couple of hours two times a week so he could get socialized with other children....and I become this blubbering, seizing, can't even drive the .3 miles back to my house, feeling awful, worst mommy in the whole world person. Mental note, do not take older child to new setting while you are 8 1/2 months pregnant and hormonal with 2nd child. You would have thought I just set my son out to the wolves with the way I was.

Oh don't worry, he came back with a vengeance...came home sick, barfed in crib in middle of the night, slept in puke, and I found him in the morning and thought I wasn't fit to be a mom! Who DOES that..leave their child sleep in puke? And then he also took vengeance on his unborn brother....gave mommy the stomach flu which in turn created contractions that never stopped and VIOLA his Brother came 6 weeks early! WAY TO GO SON! haha
I mean look at that face.....

I don't remember life before my children and I can't even fathom my life without them, but I never in a million years ever thought I would feel this guilt. We talk about guilty pleasures, for some it's chocolate, for others it's coffee, but dang just going on a date night makes me feel guilty! I think how could I be out enjoying myself when I could be at home playing, feeding, arguing, reasoning and most of all loving my two boys? We try to talk about other things, we always end up back on the boys. We try not to call to see how they are....and we are better now....but still! It's not like I just can go and hide in a closet and indulge...could you imagine? Sitting in a closet and saying "YES, I have 5 minutes of spare time" Now what?

How do you say no to THAT face....it screams that I need to pack a bag for the guilt trip I am about to take!

So is it just that I am a "hormonal female" when I feel I can't go and do any and all things that I want, or maybe this mommy guilt is a "condition"? I have a psych degree, I don't remember seeing it in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statical Manual of Mental Disorders) but I wonder what the treatment is? 500 child hugs? 2000 child kisses? How about a bout of laughter? Maybe hearing "I Love You Mommy" for the first time? I'm not sure, but those are the things that soothe my soul the most....my children, my taker of all things good, they are the best part of me, and I love them with the fierceness they will never know....take that love and multiple it by infinity and take it far into the depths of forever and maybe....just maybe, you will know how much I love my children!

Hey look....a mommy guilt trip in progress and caught on film!! (Excellent photography again by the hubs, you can hardly see the scars on my nose and check it, the scar on my cheek looks pretty good huh??)

So I guess my mommy guilt isn't going away anytime soon, I think if it did I would worry, it would mean I'm not a mommy anymore. So at that point I wouldn't suffer from mommy guilt, just a broken and empty heart. So anytime I feel the mommy guilt slip in, I'll take 2 baby drools and 2 - 2 1/2 year old "I love you Mommy" and a whole lot of laughter and I'll call you in the morning!

My Little Miracles

Pumpkins, Pumpkins everywhere

Look at this fat beautiful pumpkin....and the sun shinning on it that way gave me that feeling of the angels singing "ahhhhhh"

Daddy popped out the eye and Thomas tried to put it back!

Thomas digging in to "coop" as he called it, and Christopher was chillin with his cherrios in the wagon, next year he'll be elbow deep in pumpkin goo too!

Thomas didn't really want to touch the "goo" and when at one point it flipped up on his face....haha he. lost. his. mind!

Apparently Thomas felt Mr. Pumpkin needed his nose wiped!

Christopher checking out the final product!

And once again the challenge of getting a 2 1/2 year old and a 14 month old to look at the camera! Oh well...I give up, at least they enjoyed the pumpkin!

And this is the lighted finally product.... Okay so it's not the scariest....Mommy doesn't do scary too well. They will have to teach me as they get older!

Now let me just make a few comments....do you know how hard it is to carve a pumpkin with a 2 1/2 year old who doesn't like to have his hands dirty? Yep he's one of those, wouldn't put his hands all in his cake for his 1st birthday, when he falls at the park and his hands get in the sand he wants them wiped off, so when the pumpkin "goo" touched his hands he freaked and then turned into the typical terrible two toddler! Would that be 4T or maybe T to the 4th degree? Ahh whatever it was, it was NOT fun! Oh I can just picture it one of these days....a Pumpkin Goo food fight!

My Little Miracles

What I didn't know before I was a mom

The things I have learned since I've become a mom.....

Despite the fact that I spent all of my 20's wanting to be a mommy and being insanely jealous of all my friends having babies, I watched every single show on what goes on in your body. I spent countless hours watching TLC's Baby Story and crying with each baby that was born. I watched every episode of Birth Day Live on Discovery Health. I know every term from Abruption to preeclampsia to zygote. I had seen natural births, to water births to csections....and I'm not even in the medical field!

Here are just a few things of What I didn't know then that I know now....

Then: Does this part of the diaper go in the back?

Now: 3 seconds flat, even standing up

Then: Don't you just put the bottle in the microwave?

Now: Warm milk is over rated, CONVIENENCE, grab a pre made bottle and go, the only thing warm milk should be in....hot chocolate!

Then: Babies eat like every 4 hours

Now: When the baby cries...he's hungry....I don't care that he just ate 30 minutes ago

Then: Kids will try anything, what trusting souls they are

Now: If they don't want it, they won't eat it....I've seen it spit out all over the place before!

Then: Immunizations are for the best

Now: You have to do what you feel is right for your family

Then: Aww the baby has a cough, get some robitussin, works like a charm

Now: Saline in the nose and humidifer in the bedroom and deal!

Then: Potty training is going to go so smooth, a potty chair and some pee targets....VIOLA!

Now: Not so much

Then: Breastfeeding will be a cinch...I'm built to feed an Army

Now: My Army of one.....starved, just because it's natural doesn't mean it's easy!

I could go on and on....but the one thing I never knew before I was a mom, is how in love I would be with my boys!

What are some of your then and now moments?

This has been brought to you by Mama Kat, and how funny I already had this scheduled to post and it fit into her prompts.....perfect! So head on over to her blog to read all about it!

My Little Miracles

Wordful Wednesday - Motherhood

I couldn't pic just one....What does Motherhood look like to me?
This....my first pic with my first born.....and our first family photo!
And this....my first snuggle with my 2nd son, 5 days after birth in the NICU, I fell in love all over again!

And now....a typical pic of me and the boys, neither one wants to be in the pic and one is always crying, but there I am....always smiling, always proud!

Head on over to Angie's to see more wordful motherhood pics!

My Little Miracles

Scary Mommy - Revisited

You know Jill over at Scary Mommy is doing this contest that I entered....and it's been a lot of fun to read through all the entries and comment and read all the comments that people left on my scary mommy post as well as the comments on everyone else's posts.

This is my original Post

And I'm realizing something, we all have something in common, seems that every single mom in America could classify as a Scary Mommy....we've all lost our cool, we've all let our kids watch TV, a lot of us have left the kids in the car when we ran up to the ATM or into the store....I saw a woman just last weekend leave her toddler in a locked van to run into Panda Express to pick up dinner.

It's so common place to realize what we are doing wrong....when we yell at our kids does that make us scary? Well according to all my comments no it doesn't, it makes me just like the rest of all of you!

Maybe I should post about the things I DO RIGHT and maybe it's those things that makes me scary.

Like I am so very anal about my children and their naps and bedtime. I don't vary from it, ask any of my friends and they will tell you, I have missed parties, get togethers, lunches....you name it, I've missed it...why? Because my boys nap at 1pm....NO LATER! They go to bed at 8:30pm every night, No. Matter. What! If you call me at 8:35 and my children are still up, it's because they are sick. Ask my family....we plan parties around their nap time. No if, ands or Butts. There is no special treatment. Sorry! And you know what? It works, you tell my 2 1/2 year old okay buddy it's time for bed, he gets up gets his stuffed monkey and his blanket and he goes off to his room for bed....let's hope it lasts!

How about the computer....I don't get on the computer while my children are awake, I just don't. Not that it's right or wrong, it just doesn't work for me. For one because they aren't the best at playing by themselves or with each other, they need my attention, and I need to be watching them constantly. Ask the hubs, he knows, the minute they go down to bed at night, the computer goes on and I'm blogging. I used to be able to blog at work, ummm yeah they frowned upon that!

My kids watch TV, but not much. They watch a little bit in the morning and a little bit before bed. I don't want my kids to know every single character on TV, I'm picky about what they watch, they watch Disney channel stuff and PBS stuff and that's it. My children don't know who Scobby is, they don't know who Tom and Jerry are, they don't even know "What's up Doc?" Stuffy? Maybe....but my boys are violent enough without seeing it on TV.

I make my children mind....do they hit and slap and bite, SURE....but they also get in trouble for it, I don't falter on my time outs, sure I give in to a lot of little things, but those are important....I don't want my child to be the bully. I don't want to be THAT mom at the park or the birthday parties where everyone is complaining to me about my child being a punk because they shoved some one else's child or slapped someone else's daughter.

I am consistant in my gentle remindings....PLEASE and THANK YOU no matter what!

I Don't force my children to hug or kiss anyone they don't want to, I'm a psychology major, it must be in my brain....I don't believe it's proper to show your children that they should sucumb to an adult just because they are the Aunt or the Uncle or an adult....family or otherwise. It leaves them open to feel obligated to allow someone to touch them when they don't want to be.

I don't believe in "the baby" always gets his way because he is the baby. If Christopher has a toy and Thomas takes it from him, he has to give it back, and say sorry. Same goes for Christopher, even though he's the baby! (and okay he doesn't say sorry yet) but I say it for him and he will have to learn to deal and share just as his older brother has to!

So maybe all my strictness and the things I DO RIGHT, are what make me a "scary mommy" I don't know. I know that I don't care what others think, this is MY family, and we may do things differently But I do know that no matter what....I'm doing the best I can with the knowledge that I have, it's not always the best way, it's not always the right way, but it's MY WAY and it's working. My boys are thriving.....see me in about 15 years and I'll let you know what I think then!

My Little Miracles

Are you a scary mommy?

I've decided to take part in a fun contest that Jill has going on over at Scary Mommy Head on over there if you think you may qualify to be a scary mommy too! She's got some great things to win and it really is fun to read that there is someone else out there that is just like us!

Let's start with all the things that make me a less than perfect mom....

First, I always wanted to be a mommy, and I talked about all the things I would do as a mommy and all the things that I wouldn't do....I mean come on we all remember those times when were were kids sayin to our parents "I'll NEVER make my kid do that" and then we become parents and force our children to behave....the NERVE!

So when Thomas was born I breast fed him but only for 4 months *GASP* I know, I know. The kid was almost 10 lbs and I was starving him...so he was supplemented with formula. Trust me I tired everything I could and nothing increased the milk supply, and lactation consultants....yeah that is a post for another day.

So I felt guilty, and I cried for days on end. It didn't last long. Christopher came along and he wouldn't. nurse. AT. ALL. I didn't spend countless hours trying to force him to nurse, I didn't spend countless hours trying to pump, it was more frustration for both of us so he got breast milk in a bottle for about a month. The rest is history.

I also didn't and don't cloth diaper! OMG! I KNOW IT! But I do admire those that do!

And I'd like to think that I'm the best mom, that I never let my children NOT eat at the table, only have their drinks in the kitchen, they never watch TV while eating....but it doesn't always work out that way! I'm lazy sometimes and don't pay attention other times and I suffer from migraines and when one of those strikes the last thing I am going to attempt to do is fight with a screaming, crying, pouting, whining 1 & 2 year old.

I'm a huge sap....so I sometimes give in way to soon and way to quick....MnMs it is....just please stop crying!

I'd like to say I'm the most patient mom in the world that doesn't ever raise her voice at her children, but I can't say that. And it makes it even more fun when Thomas makes me laugh when I am trying to be a scary mommy and I can't help but crack right up. Let me give you a quick example...in our house right now the phrase of the year is DO NOT THROW....ANYTHING! So while eating dinner one night, Thomas wanted dessert and I said no, and he whined and I said again NO, you haven't eaten your dinner, and The Hubs piped in and said you make the chicken "all gone"....Thomas picked it up and threw it across the table and said ALL GONE! And looked at me for some MnMs....I think I almost fell out of my chair with laughter, instead of scolding him for what he did!

I would love to tell you that my children are always on their best behavior, never fight with each other or take toys from each other because I spend so much time with them that they love each other to infinity and beyond and they share so well. Umm yeah....not so much.

And I would love to say that it wasn't me who left a sleeping child in a car seat, IN THE CAR, while I ran into my mom's house to pick something up, only to have her say "where's the baby?" And I replied, "Umm, in the car, sleeping" As she about shoved me over to get out there. WHAT? I left the windows open and the car running!

One of my best moments...forgot to strap Thomas into the infant seat and proceeded to walk down the stairs with him, put him in the car, and drove to my mom's house before I realized it. I've even done it with Christopher as recently as last week. What? I'm a safe driver!

And it wasn't me who took my children in filthy shirts to the store, because I only needed a few things only to be stared down by several people like I just came out of my card board box to steal some bread!

Wouldn't you love for me to tell you that it wasn't me who turned up the radio in the car to drownd out the cries of my oldest child....welp....I can't. That too was me.

And last but not least, my child has eaten cake for dinner! Makes me start singing in my best Bill Cosby voice "Mom is great, give us the chocolate cake"

So I am not perfect, I strive to be like all my heros. I won't ever be the perfect mom....I am THAT mom, and like I just recently told a good friend, I do the best I can, sometimes it's enough and sometimes it's not, but that is the best part about a parent/child relationship, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! What's the saying "Show me all your faults and I will love you in spite of them"!

P.S. I work OUTSIDE the home, I know how horrible I go to work every day and my two boys go to an in home day care!

Tell me how you are a scary mommy, or if you think I'm a scary mommy.
My Little Miracles

Don't you just love....

DATE NIGHT?
We have made it a point to go on a date night at least every 6 - 8 weeks. It's important for us to have time together, and that does NOT mean that we don't love every moment we spend with our boys....but sometimes you just gotta!

So we ended up here....The famous Santa Monica Pier, it's where it all began....it's where we met, it's where he proposed...I still need to post that story for everyone that asked about it! Anyway, it does have a special place in our hearts!

And we get there, and all these tents are in the parking lot....WTH??? Yeah no one told us that Cirque de Sol was going to be there....dang had we known that we would have gotten tickets!!! Ahh well, it just meant we had to walk a short mile to the pier! And let me tell you, it. was. packed! Who wouldn't want to spend the day and evening at the beach when it was 90 degrees inland??

And who doesn't think a sunset on the beach is a perfect setting for a romantic date night?

There were a ton of people still on beach at sunset!

And THIS is where we went for dinner....pretty good! Last time we were here I couldn't eat any shrimp, I was sick as a dog pregnant with Thomas, and who goes to a shrimp place when you can't eat shrimp? Well ....ME! But it was really good last night, and of course we stuffed ourselves!

And of course we saw the famous Ferris Wheel. Nope, we did not ride it! Are you nuts? Go THAT high up? On a pier? Seriously? Not me!

But it sure did look pretty, we walked out to the end of the pier and enjoyed our hot chocolate, a tradition.

And let me tell you, if you are ever looking for a place to people watch....THAT is the place to go. I can't even tell you the people we saw....I'm not even kidding you....and you wonder "What were they thinking?" We laughed so much, had such a good time, and it was so perfect outside that we drove home with all the windows in the car open! I know, sounds cheesy, but when you have 2 little ones in the back you can't exactly do that!

It couldn't have been a better night and after being up until Midnight the night before with Thomas, we were tired but it was so worth it!

Hmm, now where do we go next time?

My Little Miracles

Laughter

It's catchy isn't it?

Trying to get my fair haired, blue eyed, little guy ready for bed and he was cracking me up with his laughter. Despite still being congested and having a croupy cough, he's such a happy little guy isn't he?

My Little Miracles

Motherhood and Inspirations

Well I didn't get to interview my mom, I wanted to, but she had prior engagements that kept her away from this monumental interview! She's so famous! =)

2.) The story of my birth....in a nut shell....my mom was sleeping, and she can sleep! The nurse came in and had to wake my mom up. Told her it was time to have the baby, she looked at the nurse and said "No, I am sleeping". The nurse said no you are going to have this baby....and out I came a 1:24am! If I had been any bigger it never would have happend that way!

3.) We are going to bypass on this one....I go by my middle name, my mom named me because she liked the name, she thought it was pretty, and I hate it, but love my middle name and go by that! So we'll leave it at that!

4.) There are many moments I think I learned that my mom was more than just a mom, which is a pretty important job! I think the time that stands out the most, was when my Dad died when I was 10, I think I learned that at that point she became so many things in a quick time. She was a stay at home mom, she was always there when I got home from school, we made "memories" every time it rained. But when my dad died she had to be so much to so many and it wasn't easy. She became my mom, and my friend, my dad, and my hero! She had to work, and at that time I realized she could be more than just my mom. She inspired me to be everything that I could be.

She wrote me a letter when I did a retreat when I was 13 for the church to make my confirmation, and I realize that my mom was my biggest fan. (Reminds me of one of my favorite songs "Who I am" by Jessica Andrews, the chorus says I am Rosemary's granddaughter, the spitting image of my father and when the days is done my momma's still my biggest fan, Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy, but I've got friends who love me, they know just where I stand, it's all a part of me, it's who I am") And although I am not "Rosemary's" granddaughter I am a grandaughter and the rest of the song rings true!

My mom often tells me how I don't need to always praise her as a mother, but I do, I think it's important. I learned a lot from her and I am still learning everyday! I can only hope that someday my boys will see me as half the mom she was to me! She is one of the strongest women I know, she has shown me how to maintain faith in a world that can be so cruel, when I was so angry and blamed God at the fact that my father and my brother and my step father were taken from me too soon, they were taken from me at times in life when I needed them most, she has shown me that life does in fact go on, and it's not God's "fault"!

In some of my most trying times she was there, not as a mother but as a friend! And she gave me a ring, for my birthday last year, right after Christopher was born, and I cried when I read it, and every time I read it, I tear up at how special it is to me...."Always my daughter, now too, my friend"! And as I tell everyone I know, she is my mom, and I love her and I will defend her to the death!

So Mom, *CHEERS*, thanks for doing such a good job and so much more, because without that, I could never be the mom I am today!

Head on over to MamaKat's to check out all the wonderfulness about Mom's this week!

My Little Miracles