Let me set the scene....so I am sitting in my family room....at this adorable little table, when I do all my important stuff....blogging mostly. And I am involved in what I am doing, I'm blogging, commenting, responding to emails, you know how it is....and I swear these things materialize....right. out. of. the. wall. A Dang SPIDER! And my heart stops, I can't breathe, and I literally fall out of the chair looking for the closest shoe, book, anything hard that is going to kill this creepy eight legged nightmare from the depths of hell that just showed up next to me on the wall and almost killed me! Since I've had the boys I can't go screaming through the house for the hubs to come out and kill the "ginormous" spider that is about to eat all of our town if he doesn't wake up and kill it! So I have to kill it....and make sure it is dead and doesn't fall to the ground and run away! I did that once with a spider over my bed, it fell on the bed and I couldn't find it, I wouldn't sleep in my bed for a month! That punk enjoyed my bed for a MONTH while I slept cursing it on the couch!
I then say to myself....Self? Why do you insist on sitting at that table when you KNOW those things just come out of the wall to torture you? Okay fine, let's sit on the big chair, under the nice light, I can see, I can watch TV between thoughts....and this is the pattern on our chair and our couch in our family room....
No harm right? A few flowers some scrolly pretty stuff, yeah well my brain will flash spiders! Don't ask me why....I will be sitting there and all of a sudden I am freaking out my eyes bugging out of my head as I look around, my clothes, the floor, the couch....I could have SWORN I saw a spider....I then begin to breathe again and sit down and try to laugh at myself....
Then I get up and go to walk in the other room to go to bed....and I see THIS....
THIS is an old cable port that we just haven't ripped out and filled the hole, we've been here for a year....OVER a year...I KNOW it's there, I know what it is, but yet it stops me dead in my tracks every night!
I walk into the bedroom, I immediately scan the top of the room....I'll be danged if one is going to drop down on me in the middle of the night....did you know that they say you eat ON AVERAGE, 6 spiders a year? That's a lot of protein I DO NOT need in my diet! And yes I have woke up the hubs from a dead sleep to kill a spider near the ceiling that I am too afraid to attempt to get because while trying to kill it, it might fall on my head and eat my brain! And I do tell him...you make sure and KILL IT, I want to see his guts on the wall, do NOT let him fall on the floor and think you will kill it on the floor....that dead spider on my wall is better than the insanity you will know if it falls on the floor!
And it's getting worse....the fact that I am hallucinating and seeing them all over...umm yeah, drug free hallucinations I'm telling you, I just start singing to myself "they're coming to take me away ha ha, they are coming to take me away ha ha, ho ho, hee hee, to the funny farm, where life if beautiful all the time" and maybe if I go there they won't have any spiders around!
I walked into the bathroom the other day and this little tiny spider walking around on the wall...I killed that one immediately with something from the countertop and I stepped back and one was trying to ambush me from the ceiling....good thing I was quick enough....I killed him too!
This has been brought to you by Mama Kat's Weekly Writing Assignment, I chose prompt #2, Scaredy Cat!!! Head on over to her place to check out all the rest of the prompts
My Little Miracles