Starting from the beginning....
I always knew that I wanted to be a mom, there was never a question in my mind, so you can imagine my horror when I lost a baby at 16 1/2 weeks and the doctor told me that I would never carry a child full term. After test after test I was told if I did get pregnant it would most likely be an ectopic pregnancy due to scar tissue and because of that scar tissue I would not be able to carry a baby full term.
I was crushed, and it hurt a little bit more each time one of my friend had no problem getting pregnant and all the babies just came popping out. After a while I kind of gave up hope of ever having a child of my own. I would never hear a little voice call me "Mommy" and I would never hear that same voice say "I Love You Mommy". I would never have the opportunity to help my child learn, and see and grow. My heart ached for a child of my own, so much so that it interfered with relationships.
I had met Steven years before from some mutual friends, he was married at the time as was I. Both childless. I had been with an ex who had a vasectomy right after he found out I was pregnant and when I miscarried he basically was relieved and didn't make any attempt to reverse the vasectomy, and now I am glad that he didn't! I did have a step daughter for a little while though. Steven's ex couldn't have children, they tried with no results. So when we met up years later, he was single, I was single....living in Michigan at the time, but that was quickly remedied. We dated and can you imagine the shock and terror that I felt when that little box was populated with the words PREGNANT! I was worried about not carrying the baby full term, miscarrying after only 4 or 5 months! The possibilities are endless as to what could go wrong.
I wouldn't let anyone, not even myself buy ANYTHING for the baby. I did tell everyone, friends, family, coworkers, and even then I wouldn't accept their well wishes. We had an ultrasound at 12 weeks, and I saw the baby, he was an active little guy, but still, it didn't mean everything was okay, I miscarried the first one at almost 17 weeks. So at 20 weeks, we saw the heartbeat and made sure he had all his parts, which he did, and for a little while I was relieved, and then realized that some babies don't make it through birth and through the pregnancy and everything. I was nervous a lot of the time and would panic when I didn't feel him move enough. But not to worry, not only was he perfect in every way....he was 9lbs, 9 oz Full Term baby!!
When Thomas was 9 months, I saw that nice little pink line that said GUESS WHAT....YOU'RE PREGNANT! So that was Steven's anniversary present and since he was born one week before my birthday, he was my birthday present! I tried not to be nervous with the second baby, despite the pains and such that I felt while on a cruise at about 8 weeks. We had ultrasound after ultrasound and all came up clear and of course another BOY on the way!
We bought a house, figuring we would have at least a month to move in, perfect everything, paint, put in carpet, and have a housewarming party all before the little one came along. Yeah, not so much! His scheduled csection was planned for Sept. 30th, and he was born Sept. 6, and his original due date was October 9th. Once he was born, I saw him for about 30 seconds, 7lbs 13 oz of perfect baby, before the wisked him away to the NICU due to respiratory distress. So while I lay on the table getting stapled shut, my baby was being entubated and all kinds of IVs put in through his umbilical cord and tubes being put down his nose. After I was done, I couldn't even sit up to see him in the NICU because my blood pressure would drop and I would barf. So while laying down I held his little hand for a moment! Then the fantastic news that not only would he be in the NICU but they didn't have room for him in THAT NICU, so he was transferred to a different hospital. They brought him by in his transport unit at about 4:30am but I wasn't able to touch him or hold him!
He stayed 5 days in the NICU, and I stayed 4 days in the hospital. And we took home a beautiful, perfect, little miracle! He did have one hospital stay at about 4 months old due to RSV and some prematurity issues, but he is healthy and thriving today!
So for someone who was told they would never have children, and another who was under the impression he would never have children, we did pretty good huh?
Miracles do happen, we are watching ours grow everyday!
My Little Miracles
